My other friends had the horror stories of needles and procedures, begging for drugs (or begging for better drugs when the epidurals didn't work), being scared and in agony - I couldn't figure it out - why were their births like that and hers like this?
I started reading whatever I could, asking people, talking to experienced moms when one told me "You were her doula." What? I hadn't even heard the word, but once it was explained to me, it clicked! I had indeed been her doula - untrained, unprepared and inexperienced but yes! And I could do that.
I wanted all women to have births like that one: births that made the mom feel strong, not scared. One where the mom is captain of the team, not just a patient. I went to doula training and learned even more.
Every birth is the beginning of a new family, even if you already have children. The arrival of that child should be a journey you are excited to be on, and happy to remember, not a horror you have to survive to get your prize. I believe birth can be amazing, empowering and wonderful, and my goal is help every mother get the very best birth on her terms.
And that's why I doula.